So before I begin, let me just say that you guys, The 5 Browns, are heroes to me. You're musicianship and charisma encourage and inspire me on many levels. And Gregory, as of last night, or actually, a few weeks ago, I have begun, "reaching for transcendence," (as you put it quite some time ago).

Last night I participated in our high school's yearly talent show. I played a string bass solo, "The Elephant," from Camille Saint Saens's Carnival of The Animals. (I was also a very ridiculous, air-headed assistant for my friend's magic act, which was wicked awesome, but that's another story altogether!) I got really nervous on stage under the hot lights, as I had never ever played any sort of classical music solo on stage until that point, but I did my best with what I had. I reassured myself with the facts that I had practiced it several times (for about a month and a half) and that the audience consisted merely of people who, for the most part, were all good friends of mine, or family, and teachers from school.
The actual performance (I think, me being my toughest critic) was fair, because I appeared somewhat nervous and my hands were shaking, but I did my best. Afterwards, though, I was really happy, and I couldn't stop thinking about it, (along with all of the performances by everybody else, which were very funny and cool) even when I went to sleep and as I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about it. That was my time, my time to connect with the audience through music, and I did it. I really did it. It was very exciting and it has left me with a new emotion, a new feeling, shall we say, because I don't know how else to explain it. It's a sort of excitement, an eagerness to do it all over again, to find another solo and work my butt off at it and then perform on stage in front of an audience again.
Is this common? Is this what happens when you first start performing like this? I mean, it was only a talent show, but it definitely counts (in my opinion) for my first experience on stage solo as a serious solo musician. I got a lot of congrats too, from friends, family, and teachers alike. It was a lot of fun and I'll never forget it. Also, a few weeks ago, I started private lessons with an awesome teacher. We clicked right off on the first lesson, and yesterday I just had my third, in which we discussed what I'd be interested in playing for NYSSMA.

In this way, I have begun my, "reaching for transcendence," because now that I've done all of this, having a private teacher, working hard to increase my practicing time and efficiency, and having my first solo on stage experience, the dreams that I've hoped for seem to be much more realistic in my future. Call it a blessing, call it luck, I don't know what it is that's given me the courage to do all this during this year, but I do know one thing, that you guys have been a huge part of it, and if it wasn't for music, I don't know where I'd be. I'm sure that you'll continue to encourage and inspire me throughout the next few years and throughout all of my musical career. Thank you.

-"Ivana"